Donald Trump

By Bayo Adeyinka

I love The Apprentice. I started by watching Martha Stewart’s edition and since then I’ve watched Donald Trump’s The Apprentice. I should have about 7 or 8 seasons of The Apprentice or The Celebrity Apprentice in my library. Anytime I’m on vacation, I usually feed on the reality show and I’ve learnt so much from the series. I call them real time MBA. That’s one reality show that I can spend hours to watch. I’ve never seen one single episode of Prison Break neither have I watched one single episode of 24. I have never watched Game of Thrones- not even a single episode. I love stuffs like Dragon’s Den and there’s one funny Game Show on Sony Max where elderly people make a clown of themselves.

Now, I seriously disliked that Nigerian version of The Apprentice when it was shown a few years ago. Apart from the bow tie of Biodun Shobanjo that I used to love to see, that show was an unmitigated disaster. Nigerians never copy anything well. Biodun Shobanjo didn’t have the ‘craze’ of Donald Trump. He was just too refined. I don’t like the The Apprentice UK edition with Alan Sugar either. British people are too stiff- too polite- even when they insult you. For Nigerian reality shows, I like Gulder Ultimate Search. I love the way the winner finds the chest and screams. For the musical ones, Project Fame is still the best. There is one The Voice showing now and I can’t almost stand it. Tuface and Patoranking should never have been judges on that show. They are intellectual feather weights. Waje and Timi Dakolo are pulling their weights ‘small small’.

Bayo Adeyinka

Donald Trump is Donald Trump. He cannot be copied. I love the way he says ‘You are fired’ while pointing his index finger. I’ve watched the season where Bill Rancic won. I watched the one Randal Pinkett won and I’ve followed Randal Pinkett since. The best for me so far was the one Pierce Morgan won. Or maybe the one Joan Rivers won. I have a hard time choosing which one was the best. Joan Rivers was simply amazing in that edition while Pierce Morgan was very fierce in his own edition. So I’m simply a Donald Trump fan- far before the whole campaign thing started. I’ve read all his books and I have them in my library. Trump writes simply and he writes well. Maybe this explains my initial bias.

But then, I want Trump to win so he can ship those Nigerians in the US back to Nigeria- especially those who rooted for Buhari. I understand most of them are from Osun and Ekiti States. Aregbesola and Fayose are waiting for them. Let them come and enjoy the dividends of what they canvassed for instead of enjoying dividends of a civilized society. Aregbesola has turned Osun into another Texas. Please forget that he promised he will turn Osun into another Dubai- Dubai is not good enough. Why should they enjoy the benefits of our devalued currency when they will have more naira for their dollar? I want to see them line up for the stomach infrastructure of Oshokomole Ayo Fayose.

For those from Imo State, my Governor, my Governor will meet them at the airport. The bill board where he shook Obama is still splashed all over Owerri. Those Nigerians need to come and be part of the great job Buhari is doing here. They can’t keep writing articles over there while queuing at the back of Hillary. Most of them are supporting Hillary because they are afraid. Afraid of the change they have fostered here. We will look for aviation fuel and bring them back home. Thank you, Mr Trump.

Meanwhile, some of us have not forgotten that visa lottery was stopped by the Democrats. It was the year I planned to visit Jonathan King in Ibadan that they stopped the visa lottery for Nigerians. If you don’t know Jonathan King, then who do you know? Ibadan was always agog with the name Jonathan King on radio and adverts anytime the visa lottery commenced. Those boys hawking the forms and passport photographs have now been put out of employment- no thanks to the Democratic Party. Radio stations have lost revenues in terms of adverts. I hope Mr Jonathan King now has another line of business. Obama is partly responsible for the high employment rate in Nigeria. So why should I support his party?

Now, seriously speaking- I believe this election is going to be close. There was a time I wrote that Trump should not be dismissed with a wave of hand or written off. That was when he just declared his intention and wasn’t even the Republican nominee yet. With Brexit happening to the shock of hundreds of millions around the world, anything can happen. You just need to dimension Brexit for you to know that inside almost every white man is a supremacist ideology. I don’t want to use the word racism.

They may not say it so they can be politically correct but their action says it. You need not look any further than the divisions in the American society-even with a black man at the helm of affairs. I recall that a white supervisor once asked my wife when she worked in the UK if it was true that Africans go about naked in Africa. To some of them, Africa is a country and not a continent.

Furthermore, over the years, Donald Trump has mastered the art of controlling the media. He understands what they call ratings on media. He knows exactly what to do when media ratings are dropping or low. That is why he says the darnedest and he doesn’t get beaten. It’s something he has mastered over the years. He knows what to say to take the shine off Obama’s great speech. He knows what to do to divert attention to himself and he has largely succeeded. Just count the number of times Donald Trump’s name was mentioned or referred to during the Democratic Party’s convention and you will be amazed. That is the kind of attention he wants-and he is getting it unfortunately. Whether we agree or not, the Democratic Party is struggling.

How do I know? When you have to assemble heavyweights over the course of three days to address just one human being called Donald Trump, it shows you’re in real trouble. Ordinarily, this should have been a no-contest. I’m not taken in by the speeches at all- no matter how high sounding or poetic they may be. Hillary Clinton certainly looks ‘beatable’.

Finally, Trump has leveraged on the new wave of terrorism across the world. America is a courageous society but they value security more than anything. Every new attack anywhere in the world takes Trump closer to the White House. The closer to the election those attacks get, the more people line up behind Mr Trump- even when it is not clear what exactly he will do about it.
And then, there seems to be a new spirit going all over the world. People are voting idiots into government- and regretting later. This may just be America’s turn. But then- why is this my business? Who America don epp?

( Please check up Michael Moore and read his article on 5 reasons Donald Trump will win the election. For undiscerning readers, this article is a mixed grill that contains satire. Please don’t rush here to drop insults. Thanks).