Saving a healthy marriage: how not to screw everything up

Saving a healthy marriage: how not to screw everything up

Tuesday, October 17, 2017 2:25 pm


A married couple

There’s nothing as beautiful and pure than love. It inspires and gives us strength. And now, there’s the most important and exciting moment in our lives – the wedding ceremony. But to make life after that ceremony happy, you shouldn’t be guided only by feelings but also by reason. What to do to keep your marriage healthy?

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Get rid of illusions

Unfortunately, a lot of young couples that decided to start a family don’t perceive their marriage adequately. They are yet to understand each other’s nature and character. Often, both partners believe that wedding is a beginning of an endless honeymoon. But it’s not true. Every honeymoon is inevitably followed by a routine, and, to build a happy marriage, you need to be ready for this.

Besides, family life is a serious psychological test. The status of the husband puts a huge responsibility on your shoulders: you’re not responsible only for yourself anymore. Your loved one also depends on you in many respects. Be prepared for such a responsibility and look at your future realistically. To be ready for the upcoming changes in your life, try to follow these recommendations.

How to have a healthy marriage

Look at the big picture
What is a healthy marriage? It’s a union of equals. Try to take a sober look at reality from the side and assess the prospects. Evaluate all the pros and cons of your character and the nature of your spouse. Accept some of your loved one’s minor shortcomings and treat them with understanding. Evaluate your own character. And don’t forget that you have flaws, too.

Find a common language with parents

Take a closer look at your loved one’s family. What kind of atmosphere prevails in their home? If it’s warm and friendly, great! But if it’s tense, be prepared to face misunderstandings within your couple. In no case should you argue with your spouse’s relatives, even if they’re wrong. Defend your own point of view, but do it delicately.

First year of marriage

Often after the wedding, young spouses complain that their loved ones have changed, becoming less attentive and caring. Sometimes these complaints are overestimated. In fact, your spouse probably didn’t change at all. You just got to know her from a new perspective. As you know, every medal has two sides. Therefore, you need to learn to accept your loved one along with her shortcomings.

Understanding

Mutual understanding is one of the signs of a healthy marriage. Without it, harmony will never be achieved. However, it never appears by itself. Even if you perfectly understood each other before marriage, you can face some disagreements after. Take them calmly. Accept that your spouse can sometimes be in a bad mood. In that case, just leave her alone for a while. She will appreciate it. However, if a quarrel does happen, try not to raise your voice.

Family budget

The distribution of family income is one of the most sensitive issues in a healthy marriage. Discuss who should pay for utilities, and who will be responsible for groceries. This should be your joint and voluntary decision. Don’t make each other put everything to the last cent into your joint budget. Let each of you have the opportunity to buy something for yourself.

Personal time

Just like with money on personal expenses, each of us needs a personal time to be alone or, on the contrary, to meet friends. Don’t take such moments as signs that your spouse wants to distance from you.

All above-mentioned points are practical. Without an intelligent and analytic approach to your family relationships, it’s difficult to maintain a healthy marriage. But the main basis for it is your love. Have some patience, and you’ll achieve what you want.

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